Like a Monotone Policy Wonk In Love

A funny thing happened on my trip to the extreme right from the left. I didn't actually make it there. I'm here sipping tea and thinking about Senate elections in New England. I rejoice that Olympia Snowe (R-ME) is coasting to easy victory and hoping that Joe Lieberman(D-CT) and Lincoln Chafee (R-RI) win reelections. I'm hopelessly moderate, and we all know how uncool and boring moderation is. I'm practical forced to announce that I desire to slaughter all muslims—every man, woman and child—or else people fall asleep when I discuss politics like they would for any monotone policy wonk in love. My moderation is involuntary. I want to believe shit as extreme as it is irrational and cool.

I can sound at least as out there and as annoying as Ann Coulter or Eve Ensler, the author of the Vagina Monologues. Thanks to the anonymity of the internet I can claim to be a gay Jew and talk about my hopes to parlay my attempted political extremism into hot sex with muscular skin head boys. It's like that Dead Kennedy's song, Nazi Punks Fuck Me. My more boring friends have sneered at my plan for Nazi dick. They say that claiming to be a gay Jew boy isn't the way to get fucked by Nazi punks. I beg to differ. My trouble isn't the Nazi punks, it's finding the Nazi punks. They're quite elusive if you hunt them. If one listens to the left, one would think Nazi racists are everywhere: the house next door, the trucker bring the microbrew beer to your local bar, the boardroom of Walmart, but no! When you want hot fascist sex, it's harder than hunting leopards in Central Park. When I encounter racism in America, it leftist anti-Semitism

I'm reading the right-wing blogs because the right-wing has good ideas about Islam and terrorism. The left is clearly wrong on these issues, because the left concocts a fantasy Islam that has nothing to do with any Islam that anyone actually believes, ignores what muslims have to say, and ignores what the right has to say. But the right-wing listens to muslims! It's always good idea to listen to people. If you listen, then you can attack fair and square.

I suppose my next post should be to attack the right-wing, as I am listening very carefully to them. There are some serious right-wing intellectual tics that annoy anyone as hopelessly moderate and dull as myself. I feel a little guilty attacking the right as I hate the left more than the right, but it is moderate way to attack those with whom you believe there is a possibility of serious dialog. The left really lacks anything like a sane idea on the threat of Islam.

Excuse me, I'm off to eat a small serving of vanilla ice cream.